Week 9

Alright, let's dive deep into this the way we do on the podcast!

Jalen Hurts at QB? That guy is an athletic freak! The kind of explosiveness he brings to the game reminds me of a wild animal hunting its prey. But against DAL? Man, that's going to be a real test of his abilities.

Bijan Robinson, now this kid's got potential. He's like a young martial artist entering the dojo for the first time. Raw talent but needs the right matchup to shine. Against MIN? Could be his stage.

Emari Demercado – 25% start and a questionable tag? Dude, that's a gamble! It's like when fighters step into the Octagon with an injury, you never know how it's going to play out.

Jahan Dotson? The guy's got skills, no doubt. But those numbers... I've seen fighters with better striking accuracy. He needs to step it up.

Chris Olave is like a seasoned BJJ black belt. He knows his craft, knows how to get open, and has that finesse. But against CHI? They've got some defenders who could give him a run for his money.

Darren Waller? When this guy's on his game, he's like a heavyweight champ. Dominant and unstoppable. But with that questionable status, it's like going into a fight with one hand tied behind your back.

DJ Moore and Keenan Allen – now that's a one-two punch combo. Both these guys can break a game open. If they synchronize their efforts, it's lights out for the opposition.

Justin Tucker, man, that guy's foot is like a sniper rifle. Accurate and deadly. One of the best in the game.

Cleveland Browns DEF? It's a mixed bag. Sometimes they show up and dominate, other times they're like a sparring partner getting lit up. Against CLE, they better have their guard up.

All in all, this lineup has some real talent, some potential sleepers, and a few wildcards. Just like a stacked fight card, you never know how it's going to play out, but it's sure going to be entertaining to watch!

Alright folks, let's break this down and get to the real meat and potatoes of this fantasy lineup! They don't want you to know the TRUTH, but I'm here to expose it!

Tua Tagovailoa at QB? Look, they've been trying to suppress Tua with all this mainstream media talk, but the guy's got talent! Going against KC? They might have some deep state defense, but I believe Tua has the firepower to break through the globalist agenda!

Najee Harris is a workhorse! You can't deny the raw power of this running back. The global elites might be betting against him with a 64% start rate, but he's going up against TEN, and I bet he's going to expose their defensive secrets.

Royce Freeman? They've tried to sideline this guy, only 24% rostered! But just like we break through the mainstream narrative, Freeman might just surprise the doubters against GB.

Davante Adams? 100% rostered because even the deep state knows you can't deny talent when you see it. The guy's like a truth-seeking missile on the field.

Joshua Palmer? Only 28% starting? It's all part of the plan to keep the truth hidden. But against NYJ? Expect some revelations!

David Njoku is questionable, just like some of these conspiracy theories out there. But the truth always finds a way, and so might Njoku against ARI.

Michael Thomas? Another one they've marked as "questionable". But we all know he's a threat, just waiting for the right moment to unleash against CHI!

Terry McLaurin is a beacon of hope in this lineup. 80% starting rate, because the truth can't be denied! NE better watch out!

Brandon Aubrey at kicker? Look, kickers are like the unsung heroes, much like the truth seekers. He's got potential to break through against PHI.

And the Atlanta Falcons DEF? They're up against it! But just like us, they're fighting the good fight.

In conclusion, folks, this lineup is filled with potential TRUTH BOMBS waiting to explode! Don't let the globalist agenda tell you who to start – trust the process and let the truth prevail!

"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize every win you ever wanted, would you capture it? Here's how this lineup's lookin' man:

Herbert's the QB, and he's hittin' it tight,
Facing the Jets, man, this should be light.
Got that West Coast swag, Chargers ain't laggin',
With Justin at helm, these defenses be draggin'.

Rachaad White's up, TB's where he's at,
Goin' against Houston, he might just go flat.
But don't underestimate, dude's got some speed,
Give him an opening, he'll fulfill your need.

Tony Pollard from Dallas, the star's where he's from,
Against Philly he'll try to bang the drum.
Cowboys and Eagles, it's an age-old fight,
Pollard's gotta bring it, with all of his might.

Ja'Marr Chase, this rookie's insane,
He's been tearing it up, causing defenses pain.
Facing Buffalo, a challenge, no doubt,
But Chase is a beast, he'll make his route count.

A.J. Brown, Titans' pride and joy,
When he's on the field, man, he ain't no toy.
Against Dallas, it's a matchup to see,
Will he break free? Guess we'll wait and see.

Mark Andrews, tight end from B-more,
Against Seattle, he's looking to score.
Ravens love him, Lamar's go-to man,
He's catching everything, just as planned.

Kareem Hunt and Nico Collins, they're your flex,
Both got potential to put up some specs.
Cleveland and Houston, two teams that fight,
These two dudes, gonna light up the night.

Younghoe Koo, that kicker's got flair,
Against Minnesota, he'll kick through the air.
Falcons rely on him, he's their footed ace,
In the clutch, he's always first place.

Cowboys' DEF, star on their helmet,
Against Philly, will they get a pellet?
It's a division game, stakes real high,
Cowboys defense, will they reach for the sky?

This lineup's fire, it's ready to blaze,
But in fantasy football, it's a constant maze.
So @NeatGuyDude, go and seize the day,
In Slim Shady's words, 'Lose Yourself' and play."

"Man, let me tell you something about fantasy football. People act like it's just a game, but it's art, it's expression, it's a manifestation of strategy and intellect! Look at this lineup right here, @LombardiLegend. Let's dive in:

Lamar Jackson, the MVP, the game-changer! BALTIMORE! Man, people doubted him, but he's out here proving the haters wrong. Facing Seattle? Man, I've been to Seattle, and Lamar's about to light it up brighter than the Space Needle!

Raheem Mostert and Isiah Pacheco both facing Miami and KC respectively? Why they sleeping on Mostert? Why is Pacheco only 88% on rush TD? People don't recognize real talent until it's on top. They'll see.

George Pickens, WR from Pittsburgh? Bro, this man's talent is like when I dropped 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy' - pure genius. But look at Tyler Lockett, against Baltimore? He's underrated, just like how they underrated my Yeezus album.

Logan Thomas, man, Washington's got a gem! But he's only 58% rostered? That's the problem with the world today! People can't recognize true artistry. They'll see when he's making those tight end catches.

Saquon Barkley and Darrell Henderson? Now that's where the vision is! Barkley's like the 'Graduation' of RBs, instant classic. And Henderson? The potential is boundless!

And don't get me started on Harrison Butker. KC, my hometown, and this man's foot is legendary! Kickers don't get enough respect, but when they win you those points, everyone wants to be their friend.

All I'm saying, @LombardiLegend, is that this lineup? This is the College Dropout of lineups. Classic, groundbreaking, changing the game! Don't let anyone tell you different. Keep that vision, keep that energy, and always, ALWAYS trust the process."

"Alright, alright, alright! Let's take a look here at Team Cotch11, and man, oh man, do we have some opportunities to cash in BIG!

Patrick Mahomes against Miami? Cha-ching! That's like putting all your chips on black and watching it land. 79% with 23.77 expected points? That's a LOCK, baby. I've seen less sure things at the racetrack, and I've been there more times than I'd like to admit.

Brian Robinson facing New England? A bit of a gamble with only 42% start rate, but hey, sometimes you gotta roll the dice, right? And then Aaron Jones against the Rams? Man, I'm feeling lucky about that one. Questionable tag, sure, but you can't win big if you don't take risks.

Christian Kirk on a BYE week? That's a rookie mistake, like hitting on 18 in blackjack. But Odell Beckham against Seattle? Now, that's like going all-in with pocket aces. Sure, he's only 37% rostered, but when he pays off, he PAYS OFF!

Travis Kelce, my man! That's like having the inside scoop on a horse that's gonna come from behind and WIN! Almost a guaranteed payoff every time. And those other WRs? Cooks and Pittman? They're like those scratch-off tickets where you just have a feeling that one of them's gonna be a big winner.

Jake Moody on a BYE? Oh, man, gotta get a kicker in there. That's like forgetting to place a bet when you've got a hot tip. But the Buffalo Bills Defense? Solid. Like putting money down on a sure thing.

All in all, few tweaks here and there, and this lineup's looking like a jackpot waiting to happen!"

"DanSpike, I have to say, that's a pretty good team you've got there, believe me. Will Levis at QB? People are talking about him, they say he's a winner. And when you've got Breece Hall in the backfield, it's always a good choice. Fantastic player, everyone says so.

Josh Jacobs? A strong pick. I've always liked him. He's a hard runner, does great things. Tremendous talent. And Mike Evans, well, we all know he catches everything. A real asset.

Garrett Wilson? A bit of a wildcard, but he could surprise us all, and I like surprises. T.J. Hockenson? Solid TE, very consistent. The kind of guy you want on your team. Big league potential.

Marquise Brown is so fast, they call him 'Hollywood' for a reason! Jayden Reed, a young talent, could be a sleeper pick, very smart choice. And for kicker, Jason Sanders? Reliable. That's what we want. Reliable.

Ending with the Baltimore Ravens on defense? One of the best. They've got heart, they've got spirit. They play hard. They're winners.

Overall, fantastic lineup. We're gonna win big with this team. Everybody says so."

"Boom! First off, you've got C.J. Stroud at quarterback. Now this guy, he's like a big turkey leg at Thanksgiving - everyone wants a piece! He's got that arm, and when he throws, he throws. It's all about reading the defense and making the plays, and this kid has potential.

Now, Jerome Ford, he's questionable. But, you know, football is a game of ups and downs. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. If he's healthy, he's gonna be a game-changer for you.

Austin Ekeler? This guy! He’s like when you butter up that turkey – smooth and it just works. He finds those holes and slips right through, and before you know it, he's in the end zone.

You've got Chris Godwin and Amari Cooper at wide receiver. They're the kind of guys that if you were building a football team from scratch, you'd want them on it. They catch everything, like when you get that last piece of pumpkin pie - you just can't drop it.

Kyle Pitts? Tight ends are the unsung heroes of any team. And Pitts? He's making songs for himself with those catches. He's that extra bit of gravy on your mashed potatoes – just makes everything better.

Adam Thielen and Jordan Addison in the WRT spots? Now these guys, they can change the course of a game. It's like when you draw up a play in the dirt, and it just works. They've got the moves, the speed, and the hands.

Cameron Dicker as your kicker? Kickers are like the cranberry sauce of football. You don't always notice it, but when you need it, you're glad it's there. And this guy? He can put points on the board.

And rounding it out with the Chiefs on defense? Well, defenses win championships. They've had some moments, but it's like Mom's stuffing - sometimes it's a bit off, but when it's on, it's ON.

So, there you have it. It's a strong lineup, like a good ol' football game with mud and tackles. Play your cards right, and you'll be driving down that field to victory! Boom!"

"Hehehe, alright, first things first, why is the quarterback spot like Meg at a party? It's empty! C'mon, you gotta have a QB in there. It's like the main character of your team!

Now, Joe Mixon? Freakin' sweet choice. I mean, he's got the moves, but he's questionable. It's like that time I tried to eat 30 tacos in one sitting. Might work out, might not, but it's gonna be entertaining.

Alvin Kamara? Oh man, it's like when Quagmire discovers Tinder. Always scoring! This guy's got the speed and the talent. He’s like the Lois of running backs - always reliable.

Cooper Kupp at wide receiver? Giggity! He's the real deal. It's like that time I found out I had a long-lost brother who was rich. Total game-changer.

Gabe Davis? Solid choice, like the time Cleveland and I started a band. He might not always be the star, but he'll get you those sweet, sweet points when you least expect it.

Jake Ferguson at tight end? Interesting choice, kinda like the time I decided to become a detective with Joe. Has potential, but let's see how it pans out.

Tee Higgins and DeAndre Hopkins in the WRT spots? Oh, this is like when Stewie and Brian go on their time-travel adventures. Full of potential, surprises, and maybe a bit of chaos. Especially with Hopkins being questionable.

Tyler Bass as your kicker? Nice. Kickers are like Mort Goldman. Sometimes overlooked, but when you need 'em, they deliver.

And the 49ers on defense? Well, they're on a bye, like me on a diet. Not gonna do much this week, but maybe they'll come back strong.

Alright, there ya have it. But seriously, get a QB in there. It's like leaving out the main character in a story about the Griffin family! Hehehe."

"We start with our canvas, and right there in the center, we have Derek Carr. He's like our strong mountain in the background. Firm, solid, and providing a stable foundation for the team.

Now, let's dab a little color into our scene with Kenneth Walker. A beautiful tree that’s grown tall and proud this season, and he’s standing right next to another tree, Cam Akers. Their shades complement each other, creating a harmonious look on the field.

Stefon Diggs, oh, what a bright and vibrant bird he is, flying high above our fantasy forest. Always capturing the eye with his brilliant plays and just adding that splash of excitement.

And right there, we have Tyreek Hill, another majestic bird, soaring even higher, painting streaks of gold across our sky. His speed, it's like a delicate brush stroke that just makes the whole piece come alive.

Dalton Kinkaid, he’s like the gentle stream flowing through our scene, consistent, and always there when you need a touch of serenity in your lineup.

J. Smith-Njigba and Allen Robinson? They're like the smaller bushes and shrubs, each with their unique texture. While Robinson might be in the shadows a bit this season, every part of our painting is essential, and sometimes, those little details surprise you.

Lastly, we have Dustin Hopkins. He’s like the soft clouds above, sometimes overlooked but always adding depth and character to the whole picture.

Remember, there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents. So, cherish each player, each brush stroke, and enjoy the masterpiece that is your fantasy lineup."

Alright, let's dive into this... lineup.

Now, we start with Josh Allen. This guy, he's electric! He's like the rhythm in a dance. You've got... this quarterback who's dynamic, he's powerful, and he's... unpredictable. When he throws or runs, it’s... mesmerizing.

D'Andre Swift and Jonathan Taylor, oh boy! It's like they’re in... a tango together. Swift, with his moves, so fluid, graceful. And then Taylor, a powerhouse, always pushing forward. They're both so... magnetic on the field.

Jaylen Waddle and CeeDee Lamb, these guys, they’re... artists, really. Catching passes like they're catching... flying saucers. Every move, every jump, it's all very... theatrical.

But then, there's George Kittle. Now, he's on a bye, which is... unfortunate. But when he's playing, it's like watching a dramatic scene unfold. He's... passionate, intense. We'll miss his performance this week.

Jakobi Meyers, he’s consistent. He’s like... the steady beat of a drum. You can always count on him to give a... solid performance.

Dameon Pierce, an underdog, perhaps. But you know, every story needs a... wildcard. Someone to surprise, to bring a little... unexpected twist.

Jake Elliott, as a kicker, he's got... pressure on his shoulders. But he delivers, every kick is like... a line in a monologue, essential for the narrative.

And finally, the Steelers defense. Ah, they're like the... ensemble cast. Working together, playing off each other, creating... moments of tension and excitement.

So there you have it. This lineup, it's got... flair, drama, and a whole lot of... character. I hope it brings you... success.

Alright, folks, let's dive into this team with that Lasso optimism, shall we?

Joe Burrow at QB? Now, that's what I call a leader. The kind of guy who brings biscuits to the coach, if ya know what I mean. He's got that vision, makes throws that not everyone sees, and he's got that quarterback magic. He's like a captain leading the ship.

Roschon Johnson, now he might be a bit of an under-the-radar pick, but sometimes, it's those choices that surprise you. And hey, every team needs its unsung heroes, right?

James Cook, he's your reliable engine in the backfield. He’s like Dani Rojas. He plays football because, well, "Football is life!"

Rashee Rice and Diontae Johnson out wide are your speedsters. They've got that flair, that pizzazz! Every time they're on the field, you just feel like something good's gonna happen.

Dallas Goedert? Now, there's a TE with some grit and grind. He's got that blue-collar work ethic, always putting in the hard yards.

DK Metcalf – the lad's an absolute unit! It's like he was chiseled from stone. Get him the ball, and watch the magic unfold.

Josh Downs, he’s your wild card. A spark plug that could light up the scoreboard. Remember, it ain’t about the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

And Jason Myers as your kicker? Reliable as they come. When the game's on the line, he's like taking a nice, calming breath before a penalty kick. You just feel good about it.

Remember, folks, it ain't all about the X's and O's, but the heart and soul you put into the game. Go out there and believe in your picks, and just maybe, they'll believe in you right back. Keep being a goldfish – short memory, always looking forward! 🐠👍

D'oh! Alright, let's see what we got here:

Jordan Love at QB? Hmm, I don't know much about him, but I hope he throws a lot of touchdowns. And if not... well, there's always beer to drown the sorrows.

Derrick Henry? Woo-hoo! Now that's a pick! He's like the donut of running backs: always a good choice. If he were a beer, he'd be Duff's finest.

Zack Moss? Eh, he's alright. Kinda like when Marge gets the non-alcoholic beer. Not the best, but it'll do.

Romeo Doubs? Never heard of him, but I hope he scores more than Flanders on a good day.

DeVonta Smith? Oh, I remember this guy! He's got moves smoother than the frosty mug I keep in the freezer for my beer. Good pick!

Cole Kmet? Mmm... Kmet. Wait, who? Oh, right, the tight end. Well, I hope he catches some touchdowns. And if he doesn’t, annoyed grunt.

Drake London? Is he from London? Does he know Mr. Burns' friends? Eh, as long as he catches the ball, I guess.

Zay Flowers? Sounds fancy. Like one of those high-end donuts with the sprinkles. Let's hope he delivers!

And finally, Evan McPherson. Kickers, am I right? Kinda like the sprinkles on a donut – not the main event, but can be the cherry on top.

All in all, not a bad lineup! But no matter what happens, just remember: there's always beer and donuts at the end of the day. Mmm... donuts.