Happy Halloween gents and welcome to Week 9 of SEWIFFL Season X.
Let's not delay, we'll start with last week's bonus. We were keeping an eye on our unsung heroes, the Kickers and Defense/Special Teams. It was a hard fought match that came down to 3 contenders: Zach, Sam, and Jeff. By just 0.9 points Zach and his combination of Lions D/ST and Dicker the Kicker took home the bonus. I hope the $5 lessens the blow of another crippling loss.
This week we'll focus on the treats of football: Touchdowns. The team with the most total Touchdowns(Passing, Receiving, Rushing and D/ST TDs) will take home the money. In the case of the tie we'll default to total fantasy points. Best of luck.
And staying on the holiday theme we're going with a non-ranked comparison this week. I took the current rosters as of 10/30 and plugged them into ChatGPT and asked our robot overlord to compare each team to a Halloween costume idea(in no particular order)...I'm not saying you need to skip work tomorrow to find this costume, but I'm also not saying you shouldn't. Grab your Scream masks and your pillow cases, its time for SEWIFFL Trick or Treat!
Led by the elusive and powerful Jalen Hurts, this team embodies Bigfoot's legend: strong, fast, and hard to track. With Derrick Henry and Bijan Robinson as the team’s core, they stomp through defenses with unstoppable strength and surprising speed, much like the mysterious woodland creature leaving only footprints of dominance behind.
Lamar Jackson and Amon-Ra St. Brown power this team like a stitched-together Frankenstein’s monster, combining force and unpredictability. Swift and Hunt add bolts of electricity, sparking this team into action and charging through opponents with relentless strength that seems almost otherworldly.
C.J. Stroud charges forward without hesitation, with Christian McCaffrey and Drake London paving the way as the Horseman’s eerie companions. Injuries may have set them back, but like the Horseman riding in the dead of night, this team continues their pursuit with haunting resilience and an ominous speed.
With Jayden Daniels as the dark and cunning Dracula, this team strikes with elegance and precise moves, much like a vampire draining defenses of their energy. Tua Tagovailoa’s throws and Davante Adams' powerful catches make them a nightmarish pair, lurking in the shadows and waiting to make their mark when least expected.
Brock Purdy and Tyreek Hill embody the chaotic yet calculated style of Captain Jack Sparrow, unpredictable yet thrilling to watch. With Kenneth Walker and James Conner backing up this roguish vibe, the team plays with a devil-may-care swagger, ready to steal victories like buried treasure.
Commanded by Josh Allen as Poseidon, this team crashes onto the scene with powerful waves of offensive moves. Josh Jacobs and Alvin Kamara are like the sea’s depths, mysterious yet immensely powerful, surfacing just in time to unleash their strength like a sudden storm on any defense.
With Kyler Murray as the unpredictable Dr. Jekyll and Justin Jefferson as the powerful Mr. Hyde, this team switches between skillful finesse and brute force. They embrace the chaos of both characters, crafting a roster that can charm one moment and devastate the next with sheer explosive power.
Dak Prescott and CeeDee Lamb enchant the field like a sorcerer and his apprentice, unpredictable and filled with magical twists. Breece Hall joins this magical trio, pulling unexpected plays from their hat with every snap, making each drive feel like a spellbinding performance.
Joe Burrow leads this team like a modern Robin Hood, giving underdog energy to the field with Ja’Marr Chase as his loyal sidekick. Together, they aim to outsmart opponents with quick, strategic moves, making every game a thrilling escape into the legend of outlaws who steal the win from favored teams.
With Caleb Williams leading the charge like the Grim Reaper, this team approaches each matchup with a chilling inevitability. Cooper Kupp and Jonathan Taylor add to the team’s eerie strength, swooping in with unstoppable plays that spell doom for opponents. Just like the Reaper’s unstoppable presence, they bring a sense of finality to every game, ready to claim victory from those who stand in their way.
Patrick Mahomes leads this team like the Phantom, elusive, dramatic, and impossible to ignore. With Saquon Barkley’s graceful agility and Joe Mixon’s powerful presence, they move through the season like an unstoppable force, casting an unforgettable impression with every play.
Jordan Love and Chris Olave create a chilling vibe, much like the Abominable Snowman storming through defenses with cold, relentless determination. This team charges forward with frosty resolve, relentless as a blizzard, ready to freeze out their competition and claim victory on icy turf.
Well there you have it. If it were up to me we'd be gathering for a costume party/Thursday Night Football watch party. And there would be the pumpkin shaped Reese's Peanut Butter Cups...they're better than the normal ones.
Remember to check your bench players and Halloween candy for drugs and razor blades. Best of luck this week and Happy Halloween!