Jim’s team is the Die Hard of the fantasy football world—rugged, resilient, and always finding a way to fight through adversity. Jayden Daniels is John McClane himself, the scrappy, mobile quarterback who uses his legs and smarts to keep things moving when the odds are stacked against him. Davante Adams is Hans Gruber—calm, calculated, and absolutely lethal in the right moments, capable of taking over games with precision and style. Mike Evans is the big-play muscle, crashing through defenses like McClane smashing through glass, while Aaron Jones and Alexander Mattison are the supporting cast, steady and reliable when the action gets intense.

The wildcard here is Tucker Kraft—a young piece like an unsuspecting office worker caught in Nakatomi Plaza, thrust into the chaos with the chance to make a difference. Jim’s team doesn’t always look pretty, but they know how to grind out a win when it matters most. Like Die Hard, they’ll need a big moment from their stars to rise to the occasion—but when the dust settles, this team knows how to survive and advance. Yippee-ki-yay, fantasy managers!

Randy’s team feels a lot like Elf—bursting with potential, loaded with talent, and filled with just enough chaos to keep things entertaining. Lamar Jackson is Buddy the Elf, an unpredictable whirlwind who brings high energy and joy to the game, even if it sometimes comes in unorthodox ways. Amon-Ra St. Brown is the team’s steady heart, a workhorse like Papa Elf, quietly holding everything together while DK Metcalf adds the flash and brute strength—like Buddy climbing a Christmas tree and knocking it over. Brock Bowers brings youthful exuberance, a rookie like Buddy discovering the human world, while Marvin Harrison Jr. adds that air of excitement as the rookie destined for big things.

This roster might have a few mismatched pieces—Cam Akers and Kareem Hunt feel like the toys Buddy cobbled together in Santa’s workshop—but when the team clicks, it’s pure magic. Randy’s squad has the tools to spread cheer (and points) in the fantasy world, just like Buddy does for Christmas.

Rated Eks is like Home Alone—a team that might look undermanned at first glance but is packed with surprises and a knack for pulling off big moments when it matters most. Sam Darnold is Kevin McCallister, left to defend the house with nothing but his wits and an array of makeshift weapons. Devin Singletary and Rhamondre Stevenson are like the carefully placed traps, steady and consistent, chipping away at the opposition with efficiency. George Kittle? He’s the tarantula—unexpected and terrifying, capable of delivering a game-changing moment out of nowhere.

Drake London and DJ Moore are the backup plans, ready to swoop in and provide support when the opposition least expects it, like Kevin’s booby traps catching the Wet Bandits. While Isaac Guerendo and Brian Thomas Jr. might feel like filler pieces, in the spirit of Home Alone, this team thrives on making the most out of unconventional setups. Rated Eks doesn’t have the flashiest roster, but like Kevin defending his turf, they can surprise anyone when their game plan comes together perfectly.

Pinche Bendejo is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation—full of star power, chaotic energy, and the potential for both spectacular moments and complete disaster. Aaron Rodgers is Clark Griswold himself, the over-ambitious leader with big plans, even if his season got derailed like Clark’s attempts at the perfect Christmas light display. Tyreek Hill is the Cousin Eddie of this team—wild, unpredictable, but undeniably the centerpiece of the action. His explosive speed can flip a matchup in an instant, much like Eddie flipping expectations during Christmas dinner.

James Conner and Tony Pollard bring reliability to the chaos, grounding the team like the perfectly roasted turkey (before Cousin Eddie gets involved, of course). Malik Nabers and Rashod Bateman are the hopeful supporting cast, while Amari Cooper and Pat Freiermuth have moments of brilliance but can fade into the background. Like Clark’s holiday plans, this team has incredible potential but also the risk of a spectacular collapse. When it works, it’s magic; when it doesn’t, it’s a fried turkey on the front lawn.

Adam Driver’s Adlib is The Polar Express—a team full of promise, youthful energy, and the potential to take you on an unforgettable journey if everything runs on time. Tua Tagovailoa is the steadfast conductor, steering the team with precision and poise, while CeeDee Lamb is the engine, chugging along and delivering explosive plays week after week. Jahmyr Gibbs and Breece Hall are the twin locomotives powering this squad, their speed and versatility keeping the offense moving down the tracks.

Puka Nacua and Dalton Kincaid are the bright-eyed newcomers, bringing excitement and flair like kids on a magical holiday adventure. DeAndre Hopkins adds a veteran’s touch, the wise passenger who knows how to shine in clutch moments, even if his best days might be behind him. But as with The Polar Express, the ride can get shaky—Chuba Hubbard feels like the caboose, just hanging on, and the team needs every piece to click perfectly to stay on track. If everything runs smoothly, Adam Driver’s Adlib can deliver a first-class ticket to victory.

Joe Buck Yourself is It’s a Wonderful Life—a story about finding greatness through resilience, redemption, and the people (or players) who lift you up along the way. Joe Burrow is George Bailey, the heart and soul of this team, carrying the load even when things get tough, with his cool-headed leadership steering the squad through adversity. Ja’Marr Chase and AJ Brown are the Clarence and Mary of this story, providing the spark and big plays that remind everyone why this team is so dangerous. Their connection with Burrow is magical, creating moments that change the entire game.

De’Von Achane is like the unexpected angel—small but powerful, swooping in with game-breaking potential that can flip the script at any moment. Calvin Ridley and Adam Thielen are the reliable supporting cast, delivering when called upon, while Trey McBride brings youthful energy and optimism to the tight end position. Joe Buck Yourself might not always make it look easy, but when their stars align, this team is a force to be reckoned with, proving that life (and fantasy football) truly is wonderful.

Trash Pandas is How the Grinch Stole Christmas—a team that’s both cunning and relentless, capable of stealing victory from anyone who lets their guard down. Jalen Hurts is the Grinch himself, crafty and unstoppable, marching down the field with a smirk as defenses scramble to keep up. Bijan Robinson and Kyren Williams are the Grinch’s sleigh—powerful and efficient, carrying the team on their backs when needed. Derrick Henry is Max the dog, the unsung workhorse who’s been a trusted companion for years and can still break out with a monster performance.

DeVonta Smith is like Cindy Lou Who, quietly brilliant and often underestimated, while Jaxon Smith-Njigba brings youthful exuberance and a spark of unpredictability to the mix. TJ Hockenson is the reliable bag of tricks, always there when you need him to deliver in clutch moments. This team’s ability to adapt and thrive in any situation is what makes them dangerous. Just like the Grinch, Trash Pandas might take everything from their opponents—and leave them wondering how it happened.

The Bearded Clams are The Santa Clause—a team that combines star power, dependability, and the ability to rise to the occasion when it matters most. Josh Allen is Scott Calvin himself, stepping into the spotlight and making the impossible look routine with his cannon of an arm and fearless playmaking. Alvin Kamara and Josh Jacobs are the elves in the workshop, doing the heavy lifting and producing results week in and week out. Mark Andrews, when healthy, is the magical sack of gifts, delivering clutch performances just when this team needs a little extra to get through the tough matchups.

Garrett Wilson and Courtland Sutton are the reindeer, reliable and ready to take flight whenever Allen decides to air it out. Jerry Jeudy brings a touch of unpredictability—sometimes brilliant, sometimes leaving you scratching your head, but always capable of creating excitement. Rico Dowdle rounds out the team as the sturdy sleigh, providing steady depth that keeps this team balanced. Like Santa stepping up to save Christmas, The Bearded Clams has the talent and the tools to deliver a championship-worthy performance.