Welcome to Week 12! The playoff picture is becoming clear in a hurry this season. According to the FantasyPros analysis we've got 7 teams still with playoff aspirations. Those of you that are looking at 0% odds of making the playoffs remember, there's still a lot to play for. The draft control can be a game-changer for a franchise reboot. Keep playing, keep playing the waiver wire, keep winning!
On to last week's bonus: We were looking at polar opposites: QBs and Defenses. This one was a 1 team show, Zach may have lost his matchup, but Jared Goff's 34.58 points set him up well to take home this bonus with a total of 49.58 points. Congrats Zach!
We're going to try a new one this week. The single starting player with the longest play(run, catch or pass) will take home the bonus. If there is a situation where the long play is a reception and both the QB and WR are involved the tie will go to the WR. QBs get enough credit.
Now on to what you're really here for: The ChatGPT AI Write Up of the Week! The holidays are just about here which means its cuffing season. No, not the 50 Shades version of cuffing, the Gen Z cuffing of finding someone for the cold winter season. A big part of cuffing season is finding that special person and to do that in 2024 we resort to Tinder and Bumble and Hinge and Match and FarmersOnly. I asked ChatGPT to write up a dating bio for each team. Will your squad find Mr/Miss Right? One way to find out. Grab your bouquet of flowers, your Drakkar Noir and prepare to swipe right, its time for SEWIFFL Speed Dating!
Commanding the league with a 17-5 record and a >99% playoff chance, I’m built for dominance. Joe Burrow leads with precision and calm, while Ja’Marr Chase brings the explosiveness that keeps opponents guessing. Together, we’re the perfect mix of strategy and raw talent. My consistency speaks for itself, but my 36% championship odds prove I’m aiming higher than just showing up. I’m here for the wins, the glory, and to leave my mark. Swipe right if you’re into a team that knows how to play smart, stay cool under pressure, and deliver results.
Some call me consistent; I just call it winning. With Lamar Jackson leading the charge and Amon-Ra St. Brown always shining, my lineup is built for success. I’ve locked in a 97% playoff chance and am sitting at a strong 16-6 record, with my sights set on bigger goals. I’m dependable, versatile, and always ready to adapt when the pressure’s on. If you’re looking for a team that can balance flash and substance, swipe right—I’m built for the long haul.
Success isn’t given; it’s earned. That’s why I’ve fought my way to a 16-6 record and a 98% playoff chance. Led by Jalen Hurts, who brings grit and determination every week, and Bijan Robinson, who’s a powerhouse you can’t ignore, I’m the team you can always count on. I never back down from a challenge, and I’m here to dominate when it matters most. Swipe right if you want a fighter who knows how to win and make it exciting along the way.
Quiet but deadly—that’s the vibe I’m bringing this season. With Justin Jefferson leading the way, making everything look effortless, and Rashee Rice adding steady contributions, I’m all about showing up when it counts. My 14-8 record and 89% playoff chance prove that consistency and hard work pay off. I may not be flashy, but I’m reliable and ready to finish strong. Swipe right if you value persistence and a team that knows how to make things happen.
Led by Patrick Mahomes, I’m built for big moments and impossible plays. Add Saquon Barkley’s strength to the mix, and you’ve got a roster capable of breaking through any challenge. My 12-10 record isn’t just numbers—it’s proof that I thrive under pressure. With an 84% playoff chance, I’m here to keep things interesting and leave my mark. Swipe right if you’re into bold moves, smart plays, and a little unpredictability along the way.
Breece Hall and CeeDee Lamb are my not-so-secret weapons, delivering week after week with skill and finesse. My 11-11 record tells only part of the story—adaptability and grit are what keep me in the fight. With a 74% playoff chance, I’m not just here to compete; I’m here to surprise. If you’re into a team that can pivot, adjust, and deliver excitement every week, swipe right—I’m full of potential and ready to shine.
10-12 and still fighting, because that’s what I do. Josh Allen keeps things explosive, while Josh Jacobs powers through with pure determination. I’m built to grind it out, to surprise when it matters most, and to make sure I’m always in the game. With a 58% playoff chance, I’m scrappy and determined to earn my spot at the top. Swipe right if you’re into a team that fights for every inch and isn’t afraid to throw down when it counts.
You want heart? I’ve got it. Brock Purdy leads with calm precision, while Kenneth Walker III brings the firepower to keep things moving. At 9-13, I know what it means to push forward even when the odds are tough. No matter the matchup, I give it everything I’ve got. If you’re into determination, grit, and a team that keeps going no matter what, swipe right—I’m not done yet.
CJ Stroud’s potential is off the charts, and Drake London adds a steady edge to my lineup. My 8-14 record might not impress at first glance, but don’t let that fool you—I’ve got fight left in me and plenty to prove. I’m all about taking risks and making moves that others wouldn’t dare. Swipe right if you’re into hidden potential and a team that’s all about playing the long game.
Sometimes messy, always fun—that’s the energy I bring. Kirk Cousins provides the stability, while Cooper Kupp brings the star power when the moment’s right. My 7-15 record doesn’t define me; it’s the heart and unpredictability that make me stand out. No playoff chances? No problem—I’m still here to shake things up and bring the excitement every week. Swipe right if you like a little chaos and a lot of fun.
5-17 and learning with every matchup. Tua Tagovailoa leads with skill and poise, while Derrick Henry bulldozes his way through defenses like they’re nothing. The wins may be few, but the heart is real—I’m here for the fight and for the love of the game. Swipe right if you appreciate determination and a team that never stops giving it their all.
Jordan Love shows flashes of greatness, and Zay Flowers adds that spark of excitement to my lineup. My 4-18 record might not look pretty, but I’m all about making the most of what I’ve got. I fight hard, week in and week out, and never back down from a challenge. If you’re looking for a team that values heart and effort above all, swipe right—I’ve got plenty of both.
There you have it. I know I'd swipe right on all of you. Good luck this week, gents. The postseason push is here whether we like it or not...much like the shitty weather outside. At least we've got football to enjoy!