Gentlemen I'm not gonna lie...I have a severe case of writer's block. Not a great sign 2 weeks into the season, but I'm going to be real lazy with things today. ChatGPT is going to write some poetry about each team. Enjoy a bit of the SEWIFFL Coffee House this week.
The Bearded Clams, a team so bold,
With Josh Allen leading, their story unfolds.
A cannon for an arm, a force on the field,
In his hands, victory is sealed.
Josh Jacobs runs with a warrior's might,
Through defenses, he charges, day and night.
With every carry, he brings the heat,
A tidal wave that none can defeat.
Garrett Wilson, swift and sly,
Catching passes as he flies by.
With every step, he’s a flash of light,
Turning the game into pure delight.
The Bearded Clams, a name that roars,
With Allen, Jacobs, and Wilson, they soar.
In the realm of fantasy, they stand supreme,
Chasing glory, fulfilling the dream.
Joe Buck Yourself, a name to boast,
With Joe Burrow as the team's proud host.
A quarterback with ice in his veins,
Leading the charge, breaking the chains.
Ja'Marr Chase, a receiver so fast,
With every route, he's built to last.
Catching deep, dancing with flair,
He leaves defenders gasping for air.
AJ Brown, a force of power and speed,
In clutch moments, he's all you need.
Bulldozing through, with grace and might,
Turning every game into a fight.
Joe Buck Yourself, with stars aligned,
Burrow, Chase, and Brown combined.
A fantasy force, they take the stage,
Ready to dominate, page by page.
Bart Was The Best, a team of grace,
With Justin Jefferson setting the pace.
A master of routes, smooth as can be,
Catching passes with flair and glee.
Rashee Rice, a rising star,
Speeding past defenders, near and far.
With every catch, he shows his skill,
A young talent with an iron will.
Jordan Mason, strong and swift,
Through the trenches, he gives the lift.
Powering through with every stride,
In the clutch, he's the team's pride.
Bart Was The Best, a tribute so true,
With Jefferson, Rice, and Mason in view.
A fantasy squad with a winning quest,
Proving that Bart was indeed the best.
Ryan's team shines bright on the field,
With Mahomes at the helm, his arm so strong,
Barkley and Mixon, their power revealed.
In every play, their fate is sealed,
Mahomes leads the charge, where none go wrong,
Ryan's team shines bright on the field.
Through tackles and blocks, they never yield,
Barkley’s speed, like a swift, bold song,
Barkley and Mixon, their power revealed.
In clutch moments, their strength is steeled,
Mixon’s strides, where the defenders throng,
Ryan's team shines bright on the field.
Together they march, a force congealed,
Mahomes throws deep, his aim lifelong,
Barkley and Mixon, their power revealed.
In victory’s grasp, their fate is sealed,
Ryan’s team, where the champions belong,
Ryan's team shines bright on the field,
Barkley and Mixon, their power revealed.
In the icy wilderness, where the cold wind howls,
An Alaskan Malamute prowls, fierce and proud.
Chris Olave, sleek and swift,
Like a shadow across the tundra,
His routes precise, cutting through the frost,
He runs with the wolves, unyielding and bold.
Stefon Diggs, a beacon in the snow,
A flash of brilliance in the endless white,
His hands like steel traps,
Catching passes in the freezing air,
He dances on the ice, never slipping,
A leader among the pack, relentless and sure.
And there, in the distance,
Jordan Love, wounded but not broken,
A Malamute resting, gathering strength,
The fire in his eyes dimmed but not out,
He watches, waiting for his time,
To rise again, to lead the charge,
To howl with the pack under the Northern lights.
This team, this pack of warriors,
Bound by the spirit of the wild,
They fight on, through the biting cold,
Through the pain and the ice,
Driven by the heart of the Malamute,
Unstoppable, untamed,
Chasing victory across the frozen plains.
In fields where passion burns with fiery might,
Brock Purdy stands, a leader strong and true,
His throws, like arrows, piercing through the night,
Guiding his team as they pursue what's due.
Tyreek, a swift but troubled star, now taints
The pride they hold, his spirit caught in shame.
Yet on the field, his speed still paints
A picture of pure skill within the game.
And Kelce, like a mariachi bold,
Plays with a heart that echoes in the soul,
His every move a tale of gold untold,
A dance that brings them closer to their goal.
This team, with highs and lows, will fight their way,
Through storm and sun, to find their brightened day.
Ode to Rated Eks, a team once graced,
With Ekeler’s fire, now a memory traced.
Though he’s gone, the spirit stays strong,
In the heart of the team, where legends belong.
CJ Stroud, the rising star,
Leading the charge from near and far.
With each throw, a vision so clear,
He guides the team without fear.
Drake London, with wings to soar,
A talent that leaves us wanting more.
Catching the ball in his graceful flight,
He turns the game into pure delight.
And though McCaffrey now bears the pain,
His warrior’s heart will rise again.
In the shadows, he rests, regains his might,
To return and lead the team to the light.
Rated Eks, your name still shines,
With every battle, you redefine.
For though the past may fade away,
The future holds a brighter day.
In the vivid arena of Frank’s Spank Bank,
Where bold colors clash, and chaos reigns,
A tapestry unfolds—woven with speed,
Strength, and the delicate art of the game.
Cooper Kupp, a flash of brilliance,
A masterstroke of precision and grace,
He moves like a brush across canvas,
Creating patterns in the open space.
Anthony Richardson, raw and fierce,
A sculptor of plays with power untamed,
Each throw, a chisel carving through air,
Each run, a statue breaking its chains.
Jonathan Taylor, a whirlwind of motion,
His steps leave trails of fire on the field,
Like a dancer in the storm’s embrace,
Graceful yet unstoppable, his force revealed.
Frank’s Spank Bank, a gallery of might,
Each player a piece of living art,
Together they form a masterpiece,
A vision of victory from the very start.
In the realm of Dak Picks, the game begins,
With Tua’s arm, precise and true as day,
Derrick Henry, a force that cannot bend,
And Mike Evans, soaring in the fray,
Together they rise, each play a fierce fight,
In pursuit of glory, under stadium lights.
Tua steps back, eyes locked on the lights,
The crowd holds its breath as the play begins,
The ball is snapped, the line holds tight to fight,
In the pocket, Tua commands the day,
A spiral unleashed, cutting through the fray,
To find the hands of Evans, who will not bend.
But on the ground, where giants do not bend,
Henry charges forward, unstoppable as light,
Through defenders he pushes, breaking the fray,
His strength unmatched, his will begins,
A path to victory carved by sheer might,
As the minutes tick away, marking the day.
Evans, a beacon in the heat of the day,
Leaps for the ball, his body a bend,
Contorting to secure it with all his might,
As the crowd erupts beneath the lights,
The game, a dance that never truly ends,
A battle won and lost within the fray.
Dak Picks, a team that thrives in the fray,
Each player a star in their own way,
From the first whistle blown, the fight begins,
Their resolve a testament, that will not bend,
Together they shine under the glaring lights,
United in purpose, unyielding in might.
Henry runs, Tua throws with all his might,
Evans catches, defying the chaotic fray,
Each moment etched in the brilliant lights,
As they play on, into the night and day,
Their spirit a force that refuses to bend,
In the heart of the game, where it all begins.
In the end, it’s not the wins that might,
But the fight that they fought, refusing to bend,
Dak Picks, a name that shines in the fray.
In the moonlit streets, where shadows play,
The Trash Pandas gather, ready for the fray.
With eyes like embers, sharp and keen,
They move with grace, unseen, serene.
Jalen Hurts, the leader bold,
His heart a fire, his spirit untold.
He weaves through the defense, swift as night,
Guiding his team with endless might.
Bijan Robinson, fierce and free,
A blur of speed, like wind through trees.
He darts and dives, no path too small,
With every step, he claims the ball.
Kyren Williams, a force so sly,
With cunning moves that make him fly.
He dances through the crowded line,
Turning every run into something divine.
Trash Pandas, a name so sly,
Yet on the field, they reach the sky.
With Hurts, Robinson, and Williams in tow,
They play the game with a fierce, bright glow.
In every match, they find their way,
Through obstacles that dare to stay.
For in their hearts, they hold a spark,
That guides them through both light and dark.
The Trash Pandas fight with every breath,
Defying odds, escaping death.
For in their world, where shadows blend,
Victory's the only end.
Power surges as the Pack takes the field,
Arm of Jackson, lightning fast, their shield.
Crossing defenders with moves so sly,
Keeping their eyes on the prize so high.
Amon-Ra shines, a star in the night,
Touchdown maker, a beacon of light.
Thrilling the crowd with every catch,
An artist in motion, impossible to match.
Choosing his moments, Bowers stands tall,
Knocking down rivals, he answers the call.
Adam Driver’s Adlib, yeah, that’s the name,
In this game of fantasy, we ain’t playin’ tame.
Breece Hall, running wild, like a beast on the loose,
He’s tearing up the field, cutting ties, breaking noose.
Every yard he gains, it’s a punch to the gut,
Opponents left breathless, like they’re stuck in a rut.
CeeDee Lamb, he’s the one with the flair,
Catching those passes like he don’t even care.
He’s got that swag, that cool, that grind,
Leaving defenders lost, like they’re blind.
He’s the rhythm in this Adlib flow,
Making plays so fast, they don’t even know.
And Dak, man, Prescott’s the brain,
Quarterbacking this crew through sunshine and rain.
He’s got the vision, the arm, the might,
Leading this team in the heat of the fight.
Every snap, every call, he’s in control,
Making magic happen, that’s the ultimate goal.
This is Adam Driver’s Adlib, where chaos meets skill,
Where every play is fire, and every move is thrill.
We’re not just here to win; we’re here to redefine,
In this world of fantasy, we’re walking the line.
With Breece, CeeDee, and Dak on the stage,
Adam Driver’s Adlib is setting the rage.
Last week's hot start bonus goes to Jeff. His team put up 166.18 points, 25 points clear of 2nd place.
This week's bonus we'll jump into the yardage counts. The team with the top duo in terms of receiving yards will take home the proverbial bacon this week. Good luck everyone!