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I can think of no one better to introduce the playoffs than one of my heroes, Anthony Bourdain. Now I fully recognize that he'd HATE ChatGPT and the way AI has infiltrated our lives, but he's unfortunately not here to defend that position, so I'll take advantage of that. The intro will be AI, the thoughts will be from the brain of the commissioner, enjoy!
Superb Owl Playoffs by Anthony Bourdain
Superb Owl Playoffs by Anthony Bourdain
There’s a moment, somewhere between the end of the regular season and the first kickoff of the playoffs, where everything gets quiet. Not peaceful — just quiet. The kind of quiet you feel in your bones. The long grind is over. The lineup decisions, the late-night waiver panic, the Thursdays where hope evaporates before you’ve even finished dinner — all of it settles into a kind of haze behind you.
And then you look ahead, and it hits you: this part… this is different.
The postseason isn’t about records anymore. It’s not about your best week in October or your worst week in November. No one cares if you spent FAAB like a drunken sailor or held onto a backup tight end like he was a family heirloom. The playoffs strip all that away. What you’re left with is a handful of teams, each one flawed, each one human, each one still convinced they’re one lucky bounce away from glory.
Hope is a strange thing. It shows up where it shouldn’t, disappears when you need it, and refuses to follow any kind of logic. And yet, here it is again, sitting at the table like an old friend — chipped teeth, bad posture, smelling vaguely of bad decisions. The playoffs do that. They give even the beaten-up, scraped-together rosters a reason to believe.
You want to talk about beauty? It’s right here. In the chaos. In the absurdity. In the knowledge that any team — any one of them — can walk in and ruin somebody’s season with a single Sunday afternoon. There’s no script to this. No control. Just a room full of people chasing something they’ll never fully catch. And maybe that’s the point.
In the Superb Owl Playoffs, the world shrinks down to six teams, two weeks, and the truth you can’t escape:
nobody knows how this ends.
And that’s what makes it worth watching.
Bart Was The Best(#3) - Powderhoundmals(#6)
Bart Was The Best(#3) - Powderhoundmals(#6)
As things sit right now(midnight on Thursday) the current projection is 108.84-108.47. You cannot get much closer than this. The Hounds started off the first half of the season in great form. 4-2 head-to-head. They stumbled a bit in the second half, finishing 2-6 head-to-head since Week 7. Bart Was The Best is one of, if not the, hottest teams in the league. They're in great form, going 9-2 head-to-head in the last 11 weeks of the season, including duel 4 game win streaks during that time. Their losses during that stretch? To fellow playoff teams Salty Spitoon and Trash Pandas. They've been beating just about everyone and doing so in style.
Players to Watch
Christian Watson(BWTB): Watson is the deep threat the Packers have been missing. He's taking the top off the defense(5 TDs in the past 4 weeks.) If he can perform against a stout Denver defense things could look up for BWTB
Jaxon Smith-Njigba(BWTB): JSN has been a phenom this season. A true breakout. The current WR 1 has only had 1 bust week, week 13 in a blowout win over Minnesota. Other than that he's getting huge targets and putting up huge numbers. Seattle might have the ball a lot given the Indy QB situation. Look for another big game from JSN.
Jonathan Taylor(Hounds): The Week 11 bye really hit the brakes on the momentum for JTTD. He'd gone 4 of 6 weeks prior to that with 30+ points. Since then he's only just eclipsed 30 total points in 3 weeks. Taylor is guaranteed to be getting more touches, but Seattle will also be hyper targeting him in their gameplan, even more than they normally would.
Jordan Love(Hounds): Its Toyotathon and that unironically means big things for J-Love. He's superhuman this time of year and science can't explain why. The Packers play at Mile High Stadium this week, against a red hot Denver team with an excellent defense. A bit of a "unstoppable force, immovable object" situation. If Watson is the beneficiary of Love throws this week it will limit the damage Love does on behalf of the Hounds.
Why They'll Win?
BWTB: JSN has a big game against Indy. Matthew Stafford carves apart a Detroit team that has been back and forth with being a force.
Hounds: George Pickens responds to the talk about his lack of effort with effort. Jonathan Taylor finds his pre-bye week level of play. Jordan Love throws TDs to guys not named Christian Watson
Why They'll Lose?
BWTB: Lots of Bears. Kyle Monangai and Luther Burden are slated to go against a great Cleveland defense. Injuries. Drake London was ruled out today, a huge, if not expected, blow to fantasy owners.
Hounds: Matchups. Jonathan Taylor is running into a red hot Seattle D/ST with a questionable at best QB situation. QB Roulette, the year long story, will the Hounds pick the right QB of their trio?
Trash Pandas(#4) - Big Nix Energy(#5)
Trash Pandas(#4) - Big Nix Energy(#5)
This is another close midnight projection. The Pandas sit as a 7.02 point favorite at the time of publishing. I've been telling people all year not to let the Trash Pandas get hot, and they haven't been able to avoid the stench of Trash and victory. The Pandas are 6-1 head-to-head in their past 7 games and they've been putting up big scores. Big Nix Energy had an interesting year. A week 1 loss led into a 6 game win streak, which led to a 4 game skid, which gave way to their current 3 game win streak. What streak will continue on this week?
Players to Watch
Bijian Robinson(Pandas): The #5 RB on the season and for good reason. We'll know in less than 24 hours how much Bijian sways this matchup. A big game from the Falcon RB could spell victory for Trash Pandas.
Jacksonville D/ST(Pandas): A defense? With all that star power? Hear me out, gents. The Jags have been on fire against some bad to ok offenses recently. Luckily for them they play the Jets this week. That strong play should continue.
Michael Wilson(BNE): Wilson has put up big games 3 times in the last month, including a 30 burger last week. He's Jacoby Brissett's favorite(maybe tied for favorite) target and the numbers show that. Another big game against a tough Houston D/ST would be great for BNE.
Justin Jefferson(BNE): Jettas has been ice cold for over a month. The QB play in Minnesota is dismal and he's suffering because of it. He's not getting enough targets and its causing head scratching from fantasy owners and fans alike.
Why They'll Win?
Trash Pandas: Star power. On paper this team should be a higher seed. Burrow, Bijian, Bowers, Kyren. All big names. Travis Etienne is having a great year too! So many weapons, will they be aligned this week?
Big Nix Energy: RUTHLESS. AGGRESSION. Much like John Cena 25 years ago, BNE has a couple of rookie RBs that are aggressive runners that have a chance to put up big games this week.
Why They'll Lose?
Trash Pandas: WR play. Rome Odunze and Jameson Williams have a David Blaine like ability to disappear at any time. A sub 5 point game is possible any time!
Big Nix Energy: Patrick Mahomes. We haven't seen Patty Mahomes with almost nothing to play for ever. The Chiefs' season is on life support and we'll see how Mahomes reacts. Last week was bad, can he bounce back?
SEWIFFL Draft Control Bracket by Anthony Bourdain
SEWIFFL Draft Control Bracket by Anthony Bourdain
There’s a certain honesty in the postseason… but there’s an even harsher honesty in what happens outside of it. The teams that didn’t make the big dance don’t get the bright lights or the triumphant music cues. They don’t get talked about like warriors or legends. They get something quieter, rougher, and maybe — if they’re paying attention — more real.
Because this… this is the Draft Control Bracket. The consolation round. The place where pride mixes with resignation, and where the only thing left to cook with is whatever scraps the season didn’t already burn.
But here’s the thing: in its own way, this part matters just as much. Maybe more. You get one last stretch of football to figure out who you are. One last chance to prove you weren’t just background noise in someone else’s story. And for the teams here, the prize isn’t a trophy. It’s something subtler. Next year’s draft position. A little bit of control. A small, shivering flame of August hope.
Hope in the Draft Control Bracket isn’t loud. It doesn’t roar. It whispers. It says:
“You messed up. You fell short. You got punched in the teeth by injuries, bad luck, worse decisions… but you still get to choose what happens next.”
And sometimes that’s enough.
There’s a strange beauty in watching these managers fight for something the standings won’t memorialize. They’re not playing for banners or bragging rights. They’re playing for the chance to walk into next season with a head start. A better angle. A little edge they didn’t have this year.
It’s not glamorous. It’s not heroic. But it’s honest work.
And if you’ve ever spent a night in a kitchen after closing — scraping plates, wiping down counters, knowing no one will ever thank you for it — you know exactly what that feels like.
So here we are.
Six teams on the main stage.
Six more in the shadows.
Each one trying to carve something meaningful out of the season’s leftovers.
Welcome to the Draft Control Bracket.
Where next year begins… right now.
Pack Attack(#9) - Cotch11(#12)
Pack Attack(#9) - Cotch11(#12)
A match up of teams that started and ended their respective season on high notes. For Pack Attack it was a 3-1 head-to-head start followed by a brutal 1-6 stretch. For Cotch11 the whole year was rocky at best, but they added a whole lot of spice to the playoff recipe with a 2-0 Week 14!
Players to Watch
Trey McBride(Pack Attack): McBride is the cream of the crop at a thin position on a bad team. His bad games are just below 10 pointers and his great games have been mid-20s. His targets have remained consistent despite QB changes in Arizona.
Dak Prescott(Pack Attack): Dak has been nothing short of amazing this season. QB #3, overall #6. Dak isn't a favorite, but he's certainly in the conversation for NFL MVP this year.
Saquon Barkley(Cotch11): Would the real Saquon Barkley please stand up? Will we see another 100+ rushing yards with a TD Saquon? Or the 50 and a fumble Saquon?
Baker Mayfield(Cotch11): Baker was an MVP candidate early on. He was seemingly on his way to becoming the highest paid QB in NFL history with his next extension, but he's cooled off quite a bit as of late. A tough divisional matchup looms for the former Sooner.
Why They'll Win?
Pack Attack: Top end talent. James Cook, Dak Prescott, and Trey McBride are truly elite at their positions and if they play like that it should spell good things for Pack Attack.
Cotch11: Excellent matchups for the top offensive weapons. The Eagles are slated against the lowly Raiders and logic says that should mean points in bunches for the top RB and WR for the E-A-G-L-E-S.
Why They'll Lose?
Pack Attack: Shared backfields. Isiah Pacheco and Rachaad White are both currently in backup roles. They are both quality backs when they get the touches, but that hasn't been the story as of late. One injury or fumble can change that in a hurry.
Cotch11: Needing another big Tony Pollard performance. Pollard had a huge game last week, seemingly out of nowhere, if that Pollard isn't at the game this week it'll put Cotch11 behind the 8 ball.
Pinche Bendejo(#10) - Peeping Thomas(#11)
Pinche Bendejo(#10) - Peeping Thomas(#11)
Both of these teams had similar seasons. Glimmers of hope, only to have that glimmer doused in the harshest of ways. Two former champions seeking to start their climb to glory in 2026 before the year even turns over!
Players to Watch
RJ Harvey(Pinche Bendejo): The rookie has been hot and cold, but recently has stuck to hot. 19 points in back to back weeks. Will he take advantage of an inexperienced Packers defensive tackle duo?
Ladd McConkey(Pinche Bendejo): Ladd has been relatively disappointing this season. He's still having a pretty darn good year, but he was a WR1 last year and is just barely a WR2 this. Can he overcome his foot injury in a key matchup against Kansas City?
Breece Hall(Peeping Thomas): The NYJ-Breece relationship seems broken. He wants out, so they're not gonna do him any favors. He missed practice Wednesday and potentially has a rookie QB starting for him. Could be good? Could be awful?
George Kittle(Peeping Thomas): He looks like a troll, but he's darn good at football. TE #18 despite missing 5 weeks. He's got a good matchup this week too against the Titans.
Why They'll Win?
Pinche Bendejo: Jalen Hurts and the Eagles have a great matchup and he needs to get right in a big way. Hurts was awful last week with 4 interceptions. Gotta think he turns that around in a get-right matchup.
Peeping Thomas: Big game potential all over. Drake Maye, as well as RB duo Breece Hall and Derrick Henry, all have the ability to turn a fantasy matchup 180 degrees in any week. If the stars align the number on the scoreboard could be big for Peeping Thomas.
Why They'll Lose?
Pinche Bendejo: WR play. Darnell Mooney is not a guy you want to see in your lineup in 2025, but that's how the fantasy football cookie crumbles sometimes. He has big game potential(see Week 12) but it might be catching lightning in a bottle.
Peeping Thomas: WR play. Courtland Sutton has been a safe floor player, but the Packers defense has been a nightmare for opponents. Ricky Pearsall is playing more like Uncle Rico. Tee Higgins is the Crown Jewel of this squad and needs to show up to pick up the slack.
Outro by Anthony Bourdain
Outro by Anthony Bourdain
There’s something about this moment — this thin stretch of time between what’s already happened and what comes next — that always feels heavier than the rest of the year. The regular season is loud. It’s frantic. Everyone talks big, moves fast, pretends they’ve got a grip on the chaos. But the postseason? It has a way of stripping you down. Making you honest.
Six teams walk into the Superb Owl Playoffs carrying whatever they’ve patched together along the way — talent, luck, mistakes, hope. Some of them earned it. Some stumbled into it. All of them will swear they deserve to be here. And maybe they do. That’s the thing about this game: justice is optional, but belief… belief is mandatory. If you don’t have it now, you never will.
And then there’s the other six — the ones in the Draft Control Bracket. They won’t get confetti, or crowd noise, or a trophy polished within an inch of its life. But they get something else. A chance to rewrite the ending. To leave the season with something more than frustration and a bad taste in their mouth. Hope can grow in strange places — even here, in the shadow of the main bracket. Especially here.
What happens next won’t be clean. It won’t be fair. It won’t be the story anyone thought they were writing back in September. That’s the beauty of it. The postseason doesn’t care who you were. It only cares who you are right now. Today. This week. This game.
And as the lights dim on the regular season and flicker on above the playoff stage, one truth settles in, soft but unignorable:
Nobody knows how this ends.
Not the favorites.
Not the underdogs.
Not the dreamers in the Draft Control Bracket fighting for next year’s edge.
But that uncertainty — that raw, restless unknowing — that’s where the good stuff lives. That’s where the stories come from. That’s where this game stops being numbers and starts being something human.
So here’s to the next chapter.
To the ones chasing glory.
To the ones rebuilding from the rubble.
To the ones who never stopped believing, even when they probably should have.
The postseason begins now.
Whatever happens… it’s going to matter.
Best of luck to the 8 teams playing this week. Leave it all on the virtual field....for draft picks...for the Superb Owl. For glory.
Get those FAAB bids in, make some pick ups, keep playing the game gents!
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