Regular Season Wrap

Gentlemen...we are here. We're down to 6 contenders for the most glorious trophy in all of Kazakhstan Regional keeper fantasy football located mostly in Southeast Wisconsin but also branching out to the Twin Cities and Pennsylvania. We've got a lot to cover this week...Week 14 Action, bonuses and maybe more...so I'm not gonna beat around the bush. Grab you razor, pray to any God that will listen, and prepare to stinker tinker...its time for the Write Up!

Joe Buck Yourself(20-8, #1) 139.64 - Muddy Bananas(14-14, #7) 115.46

Josh Allen and Puka Nacua popped off for Joe Buck Yourself. Each clearing 32 points, Allen finishing with 37.84 and Puka with 32.20. Woody Marks and Chase Brown were also solid for the league leader, both in the mid teens for fantasy points. Muddy Bananas made a move that was shocking for the SEWIFFL world this offseason...they kept K Brandon Aubrey and that move nearly paid off this week. Aubrey hit all 5 FGs attempted and finished with 25.7 points. Rookie Ashton Jeanty was solid all year, but was ultimately a let down this week, crossing the finish line with just 4.8 points.

The Salty Spitoon(19-9, #2) 141.88 - Pinche Bendejo(11-17, #10) 68.80

This was a fantasy classic, one team on an absolute heater of a week while the opponent has an incredibly rough week. Jalen Hurts was BAD on Monday Night Football. Finishing with just 0.4 points he managed to lose 4 points...ON ONE PLAY! He threw a pick and fumbled the ball on the same play. Romeo Doubs goose egged and Ladd McConkey was invisible. One highlight was RJ Harvey, who looks to be full of future potential for fantasy owners. Jahmyr Gibbs is making a case for 1.01 next year, he's continuing to cut into Montgomery's redzone touches and Harold Fannin seems to be emerging as a favorite target for Shedeur Sanders in Cleveland.

Bart Was The Best(18-10, #3) 142.64 - Peeping Thomas(10-18, #11) 101.98

Credit where credit is due on this one, Peeping Thomas had to replace a Drake Maye sized hole in their lineup due to bye week and took a shot on rookie Tyler Shough and he came through. 21.26 points on the week from the Saints' QB. Tee Higgins found the endzone twice against Buffalo but it wasn't enough to overcome ugly games from Breece Hall and Adanoi Mitchell. BWTB continued their solid play. Bucky Irving certainly seems like he would've been a top 12 RB if he was healthy all year. JSN was his top WR self again, but the move of the year for BWTB has to be signing Christian Watson back from injury. Watson was great again, 4 for 89 and 2 TDs.

Trash Pandas(16-12, #4) 129.96 - The Bearded Clams(13-15, #8) 97.06

The Pandas needed 2 in the W column to secure a playoff spot and they did just that. A dominant victory despite some rough performances. Joe Burrow looks elite again, despite his team losing, Bijian was only ok but a lot of that cna be attributed to game script(the Falcons got blown out), but Travis Etienne is somehow a RB 1 this year to the surprise of everyone. The Clams needed a minor miracle to make the big dance and that started with winning this matchup, scoring a lot, and getting some help. None of that happened. Josh Jacobs returned to the endzone, Darnold had a solid fantasy game despite getting beat up during the game, but Isiah Davis, DJ Moore, and Mark Andrews might as well not have shown up.

Big Nix Energy(16-12, #5) 128.10 - Pack Attack(11-17, #9) 74.74

Big Nix Energy, on the other hand, took care of business and stamped their ticket to the playoffs. This is despite Patrick Mahomes and Justin Jefferson being bad this week. Michael "Randy Moss 2.0" Wilson went off with 31.7 points and Seattle's D/ST was dominant again finishing with 22 points. Rashee Rice and Isiah Pacheco were kept in check by the excellent Houston defense. Rachaad White playing second fiddle to Bucky Irving has been detrimental to his fantasy performances. This week he had just 12 touches for 6 fantasy points.

Team Cotch11(5-23, #12) 118.38 - Powderhoundmals(15-13, #6) 89.36

One of the biggest upsets of the season comes as the fat lady sung on the regular season. Cotch11, aka Cotchapotamus, has had a historically rough season. Fortunately for team esteem that didn't matter as Tony Pollard had 28.1, Saquon Barkley rose from the dead with 18.2 and DK Metcalf had 18.3(while also playing gunner on punts...the more you know)! Powderhoundmals didn't make any huge head slapper mistakes with the lineup this week. They just plain got beat. Jordan Love is playing elite football and the Hounds have been making the right decision at QB more often than not. Jonathan Taylor has notably slowed down, but we should see his carries increase with either a rookie or a grandfather handing him the football.

SEWIFFL Postseason: How'd we get here?

We're going to focus mostly on the movement that occurred from this to last week.

#1 Joe Buck Yourself has been dominant all year and needed 2 Ws last week to set in stone the #1 seed, they did just that.
#2 The Salty Spitoon was in a similar situation and also did so with a huge W.
#3 BWTB took both their Ws and did everything they could to secure a bye, just didn't get any help.
#4 Trash Pandas were on the 14 win bubble coming in, but had the PF advantage. It didn't matter, they dominated.
#5 Big Nix Energy: Same story, without the safety net. They dominated.
#6 Powderhoundmals: This is where things get interesting. The Hounds had a rough week, catching 2 losses. By my count, Cotch11 picking up the 2nd win against the median is what boosted the Hounds to the big dance. Cotch11 scored 118.38 points, the 6th most on the week. Muddy Bananas scored 115.46, the 7th most on the week. I'm not a mathologist, but I believe that means the final playoff spot came down two 2.92 points.

Playoff Preview

....coming Thursday! Call me M. Night Shyamalan the way I can lead the viewer on! (Also my creative brain is drained between the typing and the video editing today(graphic design is my passion, can't you tell?)

Bonus and SEWIFFL Player of the Week

The final bonus of the year is a simple one...the highest scoring player of the week...and that goes to Joe Buck Yourself QB Josh Allen. In a dogfight Allen scored 37.84 fantasy points. Congrats!

The final regular season SEWIFFL Player of the Week award has plenty of options, do you go with the dominant teams and known players? The spot start rookie? Nay. This week's SEWIFFL Player of the Week goes to none other than Cotch11 RB Tony Pollard! Pollard, in a surprise performance and NFL + SEWIFFL upset, had 161 yards and 2 TDs for 28.1 points. Narrative plays heavy here, folks. Congrats Tony and congrats Cotch11!

The regular season scoring title was pretty much down to two teams coming in. Joe Buck Yourself and Salty Spitoon. Salty Spitoon held a ~15 point advantage and managed to hold onto that despite both teams attacking the scoreboard. The final total was Salty Spitoon 1756.34, Joe Buck Yourself 1739.46. Collecting the bronze medal was Trash Pandas, just inching past the 1700 mark with 1705.58.

2025 Regular Season Leaders

Passing Yards

Patrick Mahomes, Big Nix Energy, 3398
Drake Maye, Peeping Thomas, 3130
Josh Allen, Joe Buck Yourself, 3083
Jalen Hurts, Pinche Bendejo, 2754
Bo Nix, Salty Spitoon, 2633

Passing TDs

Josh Allen, Joe Buck Yourself, 22
Patrick Mahomes, Big Nix Energy, 22
Drake Maye, Peeping Thomas, 21
Jalen Hurts, Pinche Bendejo, 19
Bo Nix, Salty Spitoon, 18

Fantasy Points(All)

Josh Allen, Joe Buck Yourself, 310.02
Jahmyr Gibbs, Salty Spitoon, 292.7
Jonathan Taylor, Powderhoundmals, 291.7
Christian McCaffrey, Bearded Clams, 286
Patrick Mahomes, Big Nix Energy, 272.12

Rushing Yards

Jonathan Taylor, Powderhoundmals, 1358
James Cook, Pack Attack, 1308
De'Von Achane, Muddy Bananas, 1131
Jahmyr Gibbs, Salty Spitoon, 1107
Bijian Robinson, Trash Pandas, 1081

Rushing TDs

Jonathan Taylor, Powderhoundmals, 16
Jahmyr Gibbs, Salty Spitoon, 14
Josh Allen, Joe Buck Yourself, 12
Josh Jacobs, Bearded Clams, 12
Derrick Henry, Peeping Thomas, 10

Fantasy Points(Non-QB)

Jahmyr Gibbs, Salty Spitoon, 292.7
Jonathan Taylor, Powderhoundmals, 291.7
Christian McCaffrey, Bearded Clams, 286
De'Von Achane, Muddy Bananas, 244.9
Jaxon Smith-Njigba, BWTB, 242.9

Receptions

Puka Nacua, Joe Buck Yourself, 93
Trey McBride, Pack Attack, 93
Ja'Marr Chase, Joe Buck Yourself, 91
Jaxon Smith-Njigba, BWTB, 89
Christian McCaffrey, Bearded Clams, 85

Receiving Yards

Jaxon Smith-Njigba, BWTB, 1428
Puka Nacua, Joe Buck Yourself, 1186
George Pickens, Powderhoundmals, 1179
Ja'Marr Chase, Joe Buck Yourself, 1015
Trey McBride, Pack Attack, 937

Receiving TDs

Davante Adams, Muddy Bananas, 14
Amon-Ra St. Brown, Pack Attack, 9
Tee Higgins, Peeping Thomas, 9
Jaxon Smith-Njigba, BWTB, 9
George Pickens, Powderhoundmals, 8
Trey McBride, Pack Attack, 8

Stay tuned for more content this week! Get those FAAB bids in! Even if you're on a bye this week or you're not playing for the title you've still got a chance to make moves! A reminder that SEWIFFL Playoffs DO reseed, so the highest remaining seed will always play the lowest remaining seed. Best of luck to everyone this week!

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