Week 3

Welcome to Week 3! IRL football the Packers put on a dominant performance against the Washington Commanders and we started seeing the injury bug rear its ugly head. Joe Burrow has turf toe and is going to be out until Christmas and Khalil Mack got an extra elbow last night! Tuck in with a drink of your choice and enjoy this week's recap, and be ready for a little surprise at the end!

Joe Buck Yourself 133.42(4-0) - Trash Pandas 131.54(3-1)

Trash Pandas will be scouring the waiver wire for a new QB this week, as Joey B went down with a serious turf toe injury after just 7 fantasy points. Sam's belief in Travis Etienne continues to pay off, another 15 points from the French(sounding) man. Despite Rome Odunze having a career game and Bijian Robinson making a case for 1.01 in 2026, it wasn't enough to overcome Joe Buck Yourself. JaMarr Chase had an ABSURD game. 14 for 165 and a TD. When you combine those forces with Puka Nacua and his 23.6 points it makes it an incredibly difficult combination to beat. You could make an argument that Puka's 45 yard carry is what swung the matchup in Andy's direction.

Muddy Bananas(2-2) 119.38 - The Bearded Clams(0-4) 105.36

The Bananas overcame Justin Fields crashing back down to Earth. The Jets got crushed, but Fields didn't look good prior to being concussed, completing just 3 of 11 passes for 27 yards. Ashton Jeanty looked plain but the Bananas' Davonte Adams and Jaylen Warren came through huge with 34 points. But the real game winner was Brandon Aubrey who had 24.5 Fantasy Points, possibly making an argument for a further nerfing, but that's a discussion for the offseason. On the Clam side, Mark Andrews is invisible in the Baltimore offense, just 1 catch. Big games from CMC and JK Dobbins weren't enough to overcome just OK games from the rest of the Clams.

The Salty Spitoon 115.4(1-3) - Bart Was The Best 103.6(2-2)

Reports of Bo Nix's downfall were greatly exaggerated. Bo came out with a very solid 20 point performance, ending with 200 yards and 3 TDs. Combine that performance with the Spitoon's keepers, Jahmyr Gibbs and CeeDee Lamb putting up 32 combined points, and they were in good shape to hold on for victor. Keenan Allen sealed the deal with 14.6 points on Monday night. Our new ageless wonder. BWTB had a very real chance to come back Monday night but he rant into the classic conundrum of "star offensive players playing against your starting D/ST." Emeka Egbuka and Bucky Irving both had very good games but that caused the Houston D/ST to lose just enough points to keep BWTB on the losing side of this matchup.

Pack Attack(4-0) 168.8 - Powderhoundmals(2-2) 106.78

The auto-draft All-Stars continue to put up monster numbers for Pack Attack. Lamar Jackson ran it up on the Browns, James Cook carried the Bills but Amon-Ra St. Brown was the man of the hour. The Lions showed the world who the real #4 team in the NFCN is, and Sun God took full advantage, 9 catches for 115 and 3 TDs. He's clearly the favorite target of Jared Goff and Randy should be the beneficiary all year long. For the Hounds, Jordan Love was efficient in both NFL and SEWIFFL terms, nearly 300 yards and 2 TDs, but Jonathan Taylor was the bellcow for the squad. JTTD looks like he's back in Madison, running for 165 yards, but unlike Madison he's catching the ball too. 2 grabs for 50 yards and a TD.

Big Nix Energy(2-2) 122.58 - Cotch11(0-4) 115.26

A huge majority of fantasy football players you're thrilled with 9.6 points. However when that player is Justin Jefferson, you've gotta scratch your head a bit and wonder what went wrong in that game. JJettas got just 6 targets against the Falcons, but that wasn't enough to hold Big Nix Energy back. Tucker Kraft is making a case to be considered a top 5 TE in the league, 6 catches 124 yards and a TD. Jim is one of the few that kept faith in Cooper Kupp and it paid off, Kupp had 7 catches for 90 yards. Cotch got a monster game out of Jared Goff as they beat up the Bears, 33.96 points. But dual 16 point games out of Saquon and Chuba weren't enough to overcome duds from AJ Brown, Evan Engram, and Michael Pittman.

Pinche Bendejo(2-2) 133.44 - Peeping Thomas(2-2) 78.9

Its a simple story for Peeping Thomas this week. Drake Maye, Tee Higgins and the Packers D/ST showed up. The rest of the team was absent. Brian Thomas Jr is the source of controversy in Jacksonville currently, he's been accused of giving up on plays. This was very likely the worst game of the year from Derrick Henry, totally just 23 yards on 11 carries. We don't often look at bench scores, but this week wouldn't have changed things for Becker. Chalk this one up as a bad week and move on. Pinche Bendejo took full advantage of the bad game, Javonte Williams had another big game with 22 points, but Malik Nabers really shined, 9 catches for 167 and 2 TDs.

League Leaders

Passing Yards

Josh Allen 542
Drake Maye 517
Jordan Love 480
Patrick Mahomes 445
Lamar Jackson 434

Passing TDs

Lamar Jackson 6
Jared Goff 5
Bo Nix 4
Jordan Love 4
4 Tied with 3

Fantasy Points (All)

Lamar Jackson 55.66
Josh Allen 50.58
Patrick Mahomes 48.1
James Cook 44.7
Malik Nabers 42.8

Fantasy Points (Non-QB)

James Cook 44.7
Malik Nabers 42.8
Puka Nacua 41.7
Javonte Williams 41.4
Amon-Ra St. Brown 41.2

Rushing Yards

Jonathan Taylor 236
Travis Etienne 214
Derrick Henry 192
James Cook 176
Bijian Robinson 167

Rushing TDs

James Cook 3
Javonte Williams 3
Jalen Hurts 3
6 Tied with 2

Defense - Fantasy Points

Arizona 23
Denver 22
Green Bay 21
San Francisco 20
Seattle 18

Defense - Sacks

Green Bay 8
Denver 7
Houston 7
Minnesota 5
Arizona 4

Receptions

Puka Nacua 18
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 17
JaMarr Chase 16
CeeDee Lamb 16
Christian McCaffrey 15

Receiving Yards

Malik Nabers 238
Jaxson Smith-Njigba 227
CeeDee Lamb 222
Puka Nacua 221
Zay Flowers 218

Receiving TDs

Emeka Egbuka 3
Amon-Ra St. Brown 3
Rome Odunze 3
4 Tied with 2

FG Made

Brandon Aubrey 6
Cam Little 6
Kai Fairbairn 5
Chris Boswell 5
Brandon McManus 4

This week's bonus was the Blackjack Bonus. Fittingly the winner of this was Gamblin' George with 20.88 points from Jordan Love. Congrats George. $5 coming your way.

This week let's highlight the pass catchers. Most total catches for a fantasy team takes home the bonus this week.

Now I no longer listen to The Joe Rogan Experience, but I thought it might make for a good segment, so here's JRE: SEWIFFL Edition:

Joe Rogan:
"Alright guys, welcome back to the podcast. Today, we’re doing something a little different. We’re diving into fantasy football. But not just any fantasy football—this is the SEWIFFL, man. Southeastern Wisconsin Fantasy Football League. I got my boy Joey Diaz here with me. Joey, you seen these standings?"

Joey Diaz:
"Listen to me, Joe Rogan. These guys are savages. Savages. Pack Attack at 4–0, walking around like Genghis Khan, pillaging villages, eating elk meat raw. Meanwhile, The Bearded Clams are 0–4, Joe. 0–4! You know what that means? That means you’re looking at the waiver wire like it’s the last line of coke at 4 a.m. and you’re sharing it with three dudes from Jersey."

Joe:
(laughing) "That’s so true, man. Hey Jamie, pull that up. Yeah, look at this. Pack Attack—PF 298, PA 190. That’s domination, Joey. You put up almost 300 points and only 190 scored against you? That’s like fighting a dude blindfolded while you’ve got a knife in your teeth."

Joey:
"And Joe Rogan, listen, I love the Trash Pandas at 3–1. This guy—he wins the Owl, he comes back, and he’s still cooking. You know what that is? That’s institutional winning, Joe. That’s Tom Brady type shit. That’s eating avocado ice cream and kissing your kids on the lips type dedication."

Joe:
"Yeah, man, but then you look at Cotch11—0–4. That’s brutal. PF 198, PA 252. You’re putting points up but every week, you run into a f***ing buzzsaw. That’s like when you’re out hunting elk in Utah, and you think you’re alone, then a grizzly just shows up and says, ‘Nah, this is my canyon.’ That’s Cotch’s season right now."

Joey:
"Listen to me, Joe, some of these teams—Pinche Bendejo at 2–2—they’re the guy in prison who doesn’t talk. You don’t know if he’s about to stab you or read a Bible verse. They’re dangerous, Joe. You can’t trust ‘em."

Joe:
"And look at Big Nix Energy, 2–2, PF 209, PA 235. That’s -- you’re strong, but you’re always fighting uphill. They're trying ayahuasca for the first time in the jungle, and the shaman’s like, ‘Bro, you weren’t ready.’ And now you’re puking into the dirt while a jaguar stares at you. That’s Big Nix Energy."

Joey:
(laughing hard) "You know who I love? Joe Buck Yourself, 4–0. I f***ing love that name. That’s disrespectful, Joe. That’s the kinda name where your mother looks at you and goes, ‘You can’t put that on ESPN.’ And you say, ‘Ma, ESPN ain’t coming to Kenosha, alright?’"

Joe:
"Dude, that’s hilarious. And you know what I love about fantasy football? It’s not just the stats—it’s tribal warfare. It’s dopamine, testosterone, competition. It’s like—did you know lobsters, when they fight, the winner’s serotonin levels spike and they literally stand taller? Bro, fantasy football is the lobster hierarchy in real time."

Joey:
"Joe, let me tell you something—if The Salty Spitoon doesn’t win next week, I’m driving to Wisconsin, I’m showing up at his f***ing house, and I’m making him run stadium steps until he pukes. One-and-three? Unacceptable. That’s YMCA record, Joe."

Joe:
(laughing) "Dude, this is wild. SEWIFFL, man. It’s primal, it’s community, it’s war. We’ll keep tabs on this as the season goes on."

I have no idea what those bros were talking about but I hope you enjoyed! Good luck this week, everyone!

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