Welcome to the mid point of the regular season. Feels like we just started! I think we're starting to see some true contenders show themselves, as well as at least a couple teams that might need to get desperate to turn their season around. There's still plenty of time to right a ship, revive a dynasty, or even tank a Cinderella season. Play your cards right and glory can be yours. Grab your casino chips, its time for the Week 7 Write Up!

League Leaders

This week we were looking for the "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda" player to award a bonus to. The Highest scoring FLEX Eligible player on a bench wins the bonus...and that goes to....Andy! Dallas Goedert was a DNP for Joe Buck Yourself, but for Philly he had 9 catches for 110 and 1 TD for 21.5 points. Close behind was Kimani Vidal for Chris with 21.3 points.

This week let's do the most rushing yards from the team's top 2 rushers. 

And the ever valuable SEWIFFL Player of the Week. To me SEWIFFL and NFL performances play a part in this award and this players performance led to two upsets...the SEWIFFL Week 6 Player of the Week is Salty Spitoon RB Cam Skattebo! Honorable Mention: Big Nix Energy QB Patrick Mahomes and Powderhoundmal WR George Pickens. 

I've been on a tabletop game kick lately, so I asked my robot assistant to put together a Dungeons and Dragons style story involving 12 of our strongest heroes...enjoy!
- Commish

The twelve heroes gathered around the ancient oak table of the SEWIFFL Tavern, each summoned by destiny, hubris, and the promise of eternal glory (or at least a playoff berth). The Dungeon Master, an unseen voice named “The Algorithm,” spoke from the shadows:

“Twelve champions enter the League of Doom. Only the strongest shall emerge. Roll for initiative, mortals.”

Round One — The Tavern of Trades
Cam the Skattebo of the Salty Spitoon rolled a natural 20 on charisma, convincing the barkeep to pour him a free ale and three waiver wire blessings. Ja’Marr the Chosen Chase strutted in next, radiant as ever, only to roll a tragic 2 on awareness — and promptly trip over a trade offer from NeatGuyDude, breaking his pride and his hamstring. Bijan the Blessed Panda of the Trash Clan muttered a healing spell called “Falcons Finally Run the Ball” — but it fizzled, as all such spells do.

Round Two — The IR Swamp
The adventurers pressed onward through a misty bog of questionable medical reports. Tucker of Big Nix Energy attempted to leap over an injury designation, but rolled an 8 and landed directly on the Questionable square, where he remains to this day, clutching his hamstring and dignity. Jonathan of Powderhoundmals, a noble warrior, rolled a clean 18, cleaving through defenders and expectations alike — yet his reflection in the swamp water whispered, “Your coach hates volume.”

Round Three — The Bananas’ Curse
From the mist emerged D’Von of Muddy Bananas, fleet of foot and high of upside. His initiative roll: a 19. His durability check: a 3. The table groaned as his player token was engulfed in the dreaded red “O” marker — the curse of Out. Nearby, Drake of Peeping Thomas misread his spellbook and cast Incomplete Pass for the fifth consecutive turn, muttering something about “learning experience” while his allies quietly removed him from their party.

Round Four — The Clam’s Gauntlet
Josh of Bearded Clams trudged through a desert of three-yard carries. His roll was a steady 12 — good enough to survive, not enough to impress. In the distance, Amon-Ra of Pack Attack glowed like a divine artifact. His roll? A perfect 20. The Dungeon Master paused and announced:

“You have achieved Sun God Mode. Add +10 morale to your teammates and 37 points to your total.”

Round Five — The Fool’s Luck of Bart
From the rafters descended Jaxon Smith-Njigba, chaotic neutral, wielder of “Potential Energy.” His dice clattered across the table — 15 — solid, if unspectacular. But Bart’s confidence check failed miserably when his backup roll landed on “dropped before the end zone.” The crowd booed; the Dungeon Master smirked.

Round Six — The Dowdle Dilemma
In a moment of quiet optimism, Rico the Bendejo stood tall, declaring, “My time has come!” He rolled a 10, modest but respectable — until his fate was sealed by a critical hit from Tony Pollard’s Volume. Rico’s mini-figure was removed from the table and placed delicately in the “Flex Consideration” pile.

Round Seven — The Cotch Conundrum
Baker of Cotch11 swaggered in, holding the cursed Orb of Irrelevance. “I can lead us!” he proclaimed. His roll: a 1. Natural. Critical failure. He was immediately intercepted by reality and escorted to the bench by his own teammates.

Final Round — The Twist of Fate
The survivors — Jonathan Taylor, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Cam Skattebo, and Ja’Marr Chase (miraculously patched together with athletic tape and prayer) — gathered in the center of the dungeon. The Algorithm spoke again, its tone shifting.

“You have fought bravely. But this was not the championship… only the regular season.”

The walls rumbled. The torches flared blood-red. From the darkness emerged new horrors — Bye Weeks, Snow Games, and the most fearsome beast of all: The Playoffs.

As the final die rolled across the table and landed on edge — never settling — the heroes exchanged one grim, knowing look.

“The fantasy,” said Amon-Ra, sword of PPR in hand, “has just begun.”

Best of luck this week and Go Brewers!